


The Suggestion Box

by INMH



Category: Bully (Video Games), Bully: Scholarship Edition
Genre: Epistolary, Gen, General, Humor, Implied bad language, In a sense anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-22
Updated: 2014-02-22
Packaged: 2018-01-13 10:31:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1223035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/INMH/pseuds/INMH
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A teacher sets up a suggestion box in the boys’ dorm. That goes about as well as you’d expect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Suggestion Box

Welcome to the Suggestion Box!  
   
I thought this could be a nice way for the students in the dorm to contribute to their sense of community through offering suggestions on how to better the behaviors, activities, and aspects of the dorm!  
   
Just write your suggestion down and drop it into the box, and it will get typed up and published on the bulletin board at the end of every day. Remember to stay civil and share what you’re really feeling! Communication is the key to harmonious living!  
   
[---]  
   
I suggest that whoever came up with this idea re-think it, because there is no [censored] way that it’s going to go over well.  
   
-Jimmy  
   
[---]  
   
I think that the suggestion box is [censored] stupid, and I suggest we trash it.  
   
-Hal  
   
[---]  
   
Did a Nerd come up with this? I feel like a Nerd came up with this.  
   
-Ivan  
   
[---]  
   
A Nerd probably came up with this.  
   
-Damon  
   
[---]  
   
This is so [censored] stupid.  
   
-Norton  
   
[---]  
   
I think that all the Nerds should get swirlys until someone owns up to this [censored].  
   
-Casey  
   
[---]  
   
I suggest that we all get along! :D  
   
-Sheldon  
   
[---]  
   
I suggest that the freaking twelve year olds not be allowed to put anything in the box, because they are just too _freaking stupid_.  
   
-Lefty  
   
[---]  
   
After polling the members of our social collective, we’ve found that none among us is responsible for the box, so PLEASE LEAVE US ALONE!  
   
-The Nerds  
   
[---]  
   
**NOTE:** I thought this would have gone without saying, but any suggestions with profanity in it will be censored, so you might as well not even bother writing them in the first place.  
   
Also, please refrain from suggestions that contain threats. More importantly, do not carry out said threats. Misters Thompson, Harris, and West, I’d like to remind you that you have detention after class every day this week.  
   
Further, please only submit _suggestions_ , not statements or speculation.  
   
Finally, in the interest of preventing retaliation against students, the Suggestion Box was proposed by a teacher.  
   
[---]  
   
I suggest that we ban the color pink from the dorm. It’s too closely associated to the color red, and we all know that the Bullies and Jocks are dumb enough to charge at the sight of the color.  
   
So anyone who, say, wears _pink_ on a regular basis should probably just go live in the girls’ dorm for the rest of the year.  
   
-Gary  
   
[---]  
   
I suggest that Gary Smith shuts the [censored] up.  
   
-Pete  
   
[---]  
   
I suggest that we ban swearing in the dorm, because some of us might have our fragile feelings hurt by aggressive boys overcompensating for their lack of masculinity (and height).  
   
-Gary  
   
[---]  
   
I suggest that anyone who does sadistic things like feeding rancid meat to a dog so that they can use the crap to play a sick prank on the teachers be required to sleep in the attic, since we all know that’s where they go to plan their stupid jokes between classes anyways.  
   
-Pete  
   
[---]  
   
I suggest that certain members of the dorm invest in a sense of humor.  
   
-Gary  
   
[---]  
   
I suggest that certain members of the dorm join reality and realize that certain things _are not funny_.  
   
-Pete  
   
[---]  
   
**NOTE:** The suggestion box is not to be used to carry out personal arguments between students. Please refrain from doing it in the future.  
   
[---]  
   
I think the Nerds shouldn’t be allowed to do experiments in the dorms. I don’t know what the [censored] they’re mixing, but it smells like crap.  
   
-Constantinos  
   
[---]  
   
What the [censored]? The word “[censored]” got censored? It’s not even that bad a word! [Censored] is a place!  
   
-Constantinos  
   
[---]  
   
Okay, whoever’s publishing these is [censored] with me. That last suggestion looked [censored] ridiculous.  
   
-Constantinos  
   
[---]  
   
WHAT? Are you kidding me? I said [censored], NOT [censored]! Lefty said it in his suggestion and it didn’t get censored! Now I KNOW you’re [censored] with me.  
   
-Constantinos  
   
[---]  
   
You know [censored], I could totally sue you for censoring the word [censored]. I could. Religious discrimination and all that. People get sued for less. I could ruin this school and everyone in it. See how censor-happy you are then, you [censored].  
   
-Constantinos  
   
[---]  
   
[censored] [censored] [censored], [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored]! [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored]! [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored]!  
   
-[censored]  
   
[---]  
   
**NOTE:** The person previously responsible for typing up and publishing the suggestions has been relieved of duty. Their name is being withheld for their own safety.  
   
Mr. Brakus, you are encouraged not to seek “sweet, sweet vengeance”, however tempting.  
   
Another reminder, in the event that recent publications haven’t reached you effectively enough: Profanity will be censored, so don’t even bother.  
   
[---]  
   
Can we ban the Preps from the dorm? It’s bad enough I gotta deal with them everywhere else.  
   
-Johnny V.  
   
[---]  
   
I suggest that I, Johnny Vincent, and my comrades be forced to shower on a regular basis so that our classmates don’t have to smell our stink or get covered in oil and grease.  
   
-Johnny Vincent  
   
[---]  
   
I suggest that the Preps learn how to forge a freaking note, because they suck at it.  
   
-Ricky  
   
[---]  
   
OH, SO [censored] GETS CENSORED, BUT “SUCK” DOESN’T? [censored] YOU!  
   
-Constantinos  
   
[---]  
   
I suggest that Brakus be banned from the suggestion box until he can stop breaking things like a [censored] little girl when he gets angry. Only big boys get to participate in community activities.  
   
-Gary  
   
[---]  
   
[censored] YOU, SMITH!  
   
-Constantinos  
   
[---]  
   
**NOTE:** Again, I ask that students keep personal disagreements out of the Suggestion Box. Talk it out.  
   
[---]  
   
I suggest that the teacher who arranged this take a good, long look at their students and think about what they’re asking them to do when they says “Talk it out”.  
   
-Anonymous  
   
[---]  
   
We can be anonymous? SWEET! [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored]! WHAT’RE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?  
   
-ANON-Y-MOOOOUS  
   
[---]  
   
**NOTE:** Anonymous submissions will no longer be published. Don’t even try.  
   
[---]  
   
We should be able to order take-out from the dorm. Not everyone wants to eat from the cafeteria. Especially before a big game, when you don’t want to feel like puking the entire time.  
   
-Ted  
   
[---]  
   
I suggest no one be required to eat from the cafeteria. Ever.  
   
-Luis  
   
[---]  
   
Can we get Edna fired? Can I suggest that? Because that would be sweet.  
   
-Ethan  
   
[---]  
   
I suggest we start a petition to get Edna fired. REBELLION!  
   
-Earnest  
   
[---]  
   
**NOTE:** The Suggestion Box is not to be used to seek the dismissal of staff members. If you have concerns about the conduct or abilities of certain staff members, please speak to Dr. Crabblesnitch directly and address your concerns to him.  
   
[---]  
   
I suggest that the Jocks be required to keep their sports equipment out of the hallway. The dorm is not your playground- the rest of us have to walk the halls as well.  
   
-Melvin  
   
[---]  
   
I suggest the Nerds learn how to walk around or over [censored], or maybe stop walking down the hall with their nose in a book.  
   
-Dan  
   
[---]  
   
I think it should be against the rules to force someone to cohabitate with their brother. It’s bad enough having to live with a sibling at home, why at school too?  
   
-Melvin  
   
[---]  
   
I suggest that Thad grow a spine and send in his own suggestions instead of asking his friends to do it for him. Nerd.  
   
-Dan  
   
[---]  
   
I second that brother one. Can I change rooms? Please?  
   
-Lance  
   
[---]  
   
**NOTE:** Any and all requests to change rooming arrangements must be brought to either Miss Danvers or Mrs. Peabody.  
   
[---]  
   
STAY AWAY FROM MY QUEEN. I’M NOT SUGGESTING IT, I’M  DEMANDING IT!  
   
-JOHNNY  
   
[---]  
   
I suggest that Johnny be readmitted to Happy Volts until he can stop killing people at the mere thought of flirting with his girlfriend.  
   
-Trevor  
   
[---]  
   
I suggest we be able to submit anonymously so that we don’t end up like Trevor did.  
   
-Gordon  
   
[---]  
   
I think everyone should just watch what they say in the future.  
   
-Peanut  
   
[---]  
   
I think this school is insane, and suggest it be shut down.  
   
-Jimmy  
   
[---]  
   
I suggest that all students just learn to cope with the violence and insanity, because if you think the real world is safer than Bullworth, you are sadly mistaken.  
   
-Gary  
   
[---]  
   
I’m pretty sure that people don’t get firecrackers thrown at them in the real world, and suggest that this stop happening every five minutes _here_ as well.  
   
-Pete  
   
[---]  
   
In your dreams.  
   
-Gary  
   
[---]  
   
**NOTE:** As you are all probably aware, the Suggestion Box was set on fire last night.  
   
If anyone happens to know the culprit, who also left a note that said “THE MADNESS MUST END” near the blaze, please tell a staff member or Prefect immediately.  
   
[---]  
   
Jimmy finished typing up the note, shaking his head and cracking his knuckles.  
  
“I warned him. I _warned_ him.”  
   
[---]  
   
Lionel let his head fall onto the table in front of him, ignoring the cup of coffee to his left.  
  
“Three weeks,” He muttered into the wood. “Three weeks, and someone set it on fire. This was a horrible idea.”  
  
Deirdre sighed and patted his arm, disappointed as well. “It was worth a try, dear. It was worth a try.”  
   
-End  
 


End file.
